TL;DR
Alpha gamers aren't villains—they're often enthusiastic players whose helpfulness crosses into control. Solutions: choose games with hidden information or simultaneous play; have a direct but kind conversation; implement house rules like "no unsolicited advice"; and ensure the alpha has outlets for their enthusiasm (teaching new games, managing components). Prevention works better than intervention.
We've all seen it happen. The co-op game begins, and within two rounds, one player is directing everyone's turns. "You should move there." "Don't use that ability yet." "Actually, I'll tell you the optimal play."
By game's end, three people have functioned as extensions of one player's strategy. They might have won, but nobody except the alpha actually played.
What Is an Alpha Gamer?
The alpha gamer—sometimes called a "quarterback"—is a player who dominates group decision-making, particularly in cooperative games. They:
- Tell other players what to do on their turns
- Criticise "suboptimal" choices
- Talk over quieter players
- Calculate everyone's best moves
- Get visibly frustrated when advice isn't followed
- Genuinely believe they're being helpful
ℹ️ Important Distinction
Alpha gaming isn't the same as teaching. Teachers explain rules and answer questions. Alpha gamers make decisions for others. The line blurs when experienced players game with beginners, but the distinction matters: are you helping someone make their choice, or making the choice for them?
Why It Happens
Understanding alpha gamer psychology helps address the behaviour constructively.
They Genuinely Want the Group to Win
Most alpha gamers aren't power-hungry control freaks. They're enthusiastic players who can't watch "mistakes" happen without intervening. Their intentions are good; their execution is problematic.
They Process Games Differently
Some players think aloud. Internal processing feels impossible—they need to vocalise strategy. This natural tendency becomes quarterbacking when vocalisation becomes instruction.
They're Responding to Group Dynamics
Alpha behaviour often emerges when groups include mixed experience levels. The gap between what the alpha sees and what beginners understand creates unbearable tension—for the alpha.
The Win Matters Too Much
When winning becomes the only acceptable outcome, sub-optimal plays feel like personal failures. Alpha gamers sometimes treat co-op games as single-player puzzles with spectators.
The best gaming experiences come from the journey, not the destination. Alpha gamers often forget that their teammates value participation over victory.
Recognising the Problem Early
Alpha behaviour exists on a spectrum. Here's how to identify it before it consumes your group.
Alpha Gamer Warning Signs
| Behaviour | Mild (Address Later) | Severe (Address Now) | |-----------|---------------------|---------------------| | Suggestions | Offers advice when asked | Gives advice constantly unsolicited | | Turn involvement | Watches others' turns with interest | Plans others' turns during their own | | Emotional response | Disappointed by losses | Frustrated by others' "mistakes" | | Communication | Shares strategy thoughts | Dictates strategy requirements | | Rule knowledge | Explains rules when confused | Corrects every minor error mid-game | | Victory priority | Wants to win | Can't accept losses from others' plays |
Mild behaviours can escalate. A suggestion-giver becomes a turn-dictator when games get tense. Address patterns early.
Strategy 1: Choose Alpha-Resistant Games
The easiest solution prevents the problem through game selection.
Games with Hidden Information
When players have information others can't access, quarterbacking becomes impossible.
Hanabi
10/10 for alpha-proofing/10In Hanabi, you can see everyone's cards except your own. You literally cannot be told what to do because others don't know what you know.
Other alpha-resistant co-ops:
- The Crew — Trick-taking with hidden hands
- Mysterium — Ghost player can't speak at all
- Codenames: Duet — Hidden word grids
- Beyond Baker Street — Hanabi-style mystery solving
Real-Time Games
When everyone acts simultaneously, nobody has time to quarterback.
- Space Alert — Real-time spaceship survival
- XCOM — Timed phases prevent overthinking
- Magic Maze — Silent, simultaneous, chaotic
Traitor Games
When anyone might be working against the group, trust (and bossiness) collapses productively.
- Dead of Winter — Secret objectives, possible traitor
- The Resistance — Pure hidden roles
- Shadows over Camelot — Co-op with potential betrayal
Competitive Games (The Nuclear Option)
Switching from cooperative to competitive games eliminates quarterbacking entirely. You can't tell opponents what to do.
Games like Smoothie Wars, Ticket to Ride, or Azul involve only your own decisions. Problem solved—though group dynamics change significantly.
Strategy 2: The Conversation
Sometimes you need to address the behaviour directly. This is uncomfortable but often necessary.
When to Have It
- After the problem has occurred at least twice
- Before resentment builds among other players
- Not during or immediately after a game session
- In private, not as public callout
How to Frame It
Avoid accusatory language. The goal is behaviour change, not shame.
Instead of: "You always tell everyone what to do" Try: "I've noticed our co-op games feel less engaging for me when strategy gets discussed out loud. Could we try a session where everyone makes their own choices, even if they're not optimal?"
Instead of: "You're ruining game night" Try: "I really want to learn this game myself. Would you mind letting me make mistakes this session?"
Sample Script
"Hey, I love gaming with you, and I know you're trying to help us win. But I've realised I enjoy games more when I'm making my own decisions, even the bad ones. Could we try something? Next Pandemic session, what if we each commit to only giving advice when asked? I want to experience figuring things out, even if it means losing."
💡 For the Alpha Reading This
If you've recognised yourself in this article, you're already ahead. The awareness is the hardest part. Try silently counting to ten before offering any advice. Often, the other player will figure it out—or ask for help—before you reach ten.
Strategy 3: House Rules That Help
Implement structural solutions that prevent quarterbacking without requiring willpower.
The "No Unsolicited Advice" Rule
Players may only offer strategic suggestions when explicitly asked. Violation costs... something (drink, point penalty, mock shame).
Time Limits on Discussion
Allow 30 seconds of group discussion per turn. Use a sand timer. When it runs out, the active player decides.
Silent Turns
Some groups implement fully silent turns—no discussion during individual play, only between rounds.
The "Nuclear Option" Veto
Any player can say "I want to figure this out myself" and receive three minutes of uninterrupted thinking. Others must remain silent.
Role Rotation
In games with roles (Pandemic's medic, scientist, etc.), ensure the alpha doesn't always play the "most important" role. Random distribution prevents natural hierarchies.
Strategy 4: Redirect the Energy
Alpha gamers have enthusiasm and game knowledge. Channel these productively.
Teaching New Games
Let the alpha explain rules before games begin. This satisfies their need to share knowledge and gives others context to make informed decisions.
Component Management
Put the alpha in charge of setup, teardown, and component organisation. Their detail orientation becomes helpful rather than controlling.
Note-Taking
In campaign games, have the alpha maintain the campaign log. They track what happened without directing what will happen.
Meta-Gaming
Encourage the alpha to analyse games after sessions end. Strategy discussions between games scratch the optimisation itch without disrupting play.
The most dangerous phrase in cooperative gaming is 'trust me.' It's the moment one player stops treating others as partners and starts treating them as puppets.
Strategy 5: Building Group Norms
Prevention works better than intervention. Establish healthy norms before problems emerge.
Session Zero for Groups
Before starting a regular game night, discuss expectations:
- How do we feel about table talk during co-ops?
- Is winning or the journey more important?
- What should someone do if they feel unheard?
- How do we handle skill disparities?
Regular Check-Ins
Every few months, ask the group:
- "Are we all having fun?"
- "Anything we should do differently?"
- "Game suggestions for next sessions?"
These conversations surface problems before they fester.
Model the Behaviour
When you play cooperatively, explicitly ask for suggestions rather than giving them. "What do you all think I should do here?" demonstrates respect for collective intelligence.
When the Alpha Is You
Self-reflection is harder than external observation. Here's how to check yourself.
Warning Signs
- You find yourself planning others' turns during your own
- You feel physically uncomfortable watching "suboptimal" plays
- You've used the phrase "actually, the best move is..."
- Others seem disengaged during cooperative games
- People decline co-op game suggestions from you
Self-Management Techniques
The Ten-Second Rule: When you see a "mistake," count to ten silently. Most players figure it out. If they don't, perhaps they're okay with that.
Ask, Don't Tell: Replace "you should move there" with "what are you thinking about doing?" Listen to the answer.
Accept Losses: Remind yourself that losing because of genuine group decisions is more fun than winning because you puppeted everyone.
Find Your Outlet: Play solo games, compete in tournaments, or do puzzles. Get your optimisation fix elsewhere.
😤 Situation: You see a teammate about to make a move that will definitely lose the game.
Effective response: Ask: 'Have you considered the zombie spawning that triggers?' If they proceed, accept it. The learning is valuable. The loss is temporary. The resentment from being controlled lasts.
Special Situations
The Alpha Is the Host
This is awkward. The host controls game selection, which already concentrates power. If they're also quarterbacking, quieter guests may simply stop attending.
Solution: Suggest rotating hosting duties. Different environments shift dynamics.
The Alpha Has Significant Game Investment
Someone who owns 200 games feels ownership over play experiences. Understandable, but problematic.
Solution: Have others bring games occasionally. Level the ownership dynamic.
The Alpha Is a Family Member
You can't easily exclude family from family game night.
Solution: Focus on game selection (alpha-resistant games) rather than behaviour modification. Family dynamics are complicated enough.
Children as Alphas
Kids sometimes dominate cooperative games, either from enthusiasm or learned behaviour.
Solution: Explicitly teach turn-taking and respecting others' choices. Use games where everyone has equal voice structurally.
Frequently Asked Questions
Isn't giving advice just being helpful?
There's a difference between answering questions and directing play. "What does this card do?" deserves explanation. "What should I play?" might deserve "What are you considering?" in return.
What if the alpha genuinely knows the optimal strategy?
Knowing the optimal strategy doesn't entitle you to implement it through others. If someone wants to learn through experience, that's their right—even if it costs the group a victory.
Should we just play competitive games?
Competitive games solve quarterbacking but change group dynamics significantly. Some groups thrive on co-ops; they just need alpha-resistant ones.
What if addressing it causes conflict?
Short-term discomfort often prevents long-term group dissolution. Unaddressed alpha behaviour drives quieter players away permanently.
Can alpha gamers change?
Absolutely. Many reformed alphas describe the shift as liberating. Watching others figure things out becomes its own pleasure once you allow it.
Final Thoughts
Alpha gamers aren't villains. They're enthusiastic players whose helpfulness outpaces their restraint. With the right games, honest conversations, and structural solutions, groups can channel that enthusiasm productively.
The goal isn't to silence the knowledgeable player. It's to ensure everyone at the table is actually playing the game—making their own decisions, learning from their own mistakes, and experiencing the full joy of cooperative adventure.
Sometimes that means losing games you could have won. That's okay. The point was never just victory.
The Smoothie Wars Content Team creates educational gaming content. The team writes about group dynamics, game night culture, and playing nicely with others.
