Playing Board Games Long-Distance: Keeping Connection Alive

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My partner and I spent eighteen months in different countries. Video calls helped, but they often devolved into awkward "so... how was your day?" conversations that left us feeling more disconnected than before.

Then we discovered online board gaming. Suddenly, we had something to do together—decisions to make, strategies to debate, victories to celebrate. Two years later, we're in the same city, but our weekly game night continues.

Why Board Games Work for Long-Distance Connection

Standard video calls place enormous pressure on conversation. Silences feel awkward. Topics run dry. The connection becomes performative rather than natural.

Board games solve this by providing:

• Shared focus: Attention on the game, not on performing connection
• Natural conversation starters: "Why did you play that?" sparks better dialogue than "What's new?"
• Memorable shared experiences: Creating stories together builds relationship history
• Achievement together: Wins and losses bond more than status updates
• Comfortable silences: Thinking about your move isn't awkward

Couples who engage in novel, challenging activities together report higher relationship satisfaction. The activity matters less than the shared experience of learning and problem-solving together.

The Platform Landscape

Several options exist for playing board games remotely. Each has distinct advantages.

Board Game Arena (BGA)

Strengths:

• Works in any browser—no installation
• 500+ games, growing regularly
• Turn-based and real-time modes
• Excellent mobile support
• Active community for finding opponents

Weaknesses:

• Interface varies by game (some polished, some basic)
• No voice chat (use separate call)
• Can't modify rules easily

Best for: Couples wanting variety, families across time zones, casual gaming groups

Tabletop Simulator (TTS)

Strengths:

• Play virtually any game (official and fan-made)
• Full physics simulation
• Built-in voice chat
• Highly moddable
• VR support

Weaknesses:

• Steam required
• Learning curve for setup
• Some fan mods are poor quality
• Costs more upfront

Best for: Serious hobbyists, groups wanting specific titles, players who enjoy tinkering

Tabletopia

Browser-based alternative to TTS with official publisher partnerships. More polished than TTS, less flexibility. Good middle ground.

BoardGameGeek Digital Editions

Many publishers release official digital versions on BGA or standalone apps. These offer the most polished experience for specific games.

Setting Up for Success

Technical setup matters more than game choice. Here's what makes sessions smooth.

Essential Equipment

Audio clarity trumps video quality. A £30 USB microphone does more for connection than a 4K webcam. You'll spend hours together—invest in comfortable listening.

• Decent headphones or speakers (avoid laptop speakers)
• USB microphone or quality headset
• Stable internet (wired if possible)
• Second screen helpful but not essential

The Two-Window Setup

Run your video call (Zoom, Discord, FaceTime) alongside the game platform. This provides face-to-face interaction while playing.

Step-by-step:

1. Open video call on one device (or one half of screen)
2. Open game platform on the other
3. Share audio through the video call, not game platform
4. Position camera so your face is visible, not just top of head

Scheduling That Works

Spontaneous gaming rarely happens across distances. Time zone coordination requires intention.

• Set recurring weekly slots rather than coordinating each time
• Account for connection time: Schedule 10 minutes before intended start
• Have backup games ready in case first choice has technical issues
• Set end times to avoid one partner staying up too late

Best Games for Long-Distance Play

Not every game translates well to screens. Here's what works—and why.

Two-Player Strategy Games

Perfect for couples: meaningful decisions, quick play, no luck complaints. Available on BGA with excellent implementation.

Other top picks:

• Patchwork — Cosy puzzle-like tile laying
• Jaipur — Quick trading card game
• Targi — Worker placement without downtime
• Star Realms — Deck-building combat

Cooperative Adventures

Playing together rather than against each other suits couples preferring collaboration over competition.

Campaign-based progression creates ongoing narrative across sessions.

Other top picks:

• Pandemic — Classic disease-fighting co-op
• Forbidden Island/Desert — Lighter co-ops with shared objectives
• Spirit Island — Deep cooperative strategy (for experienced gamers)
• The Mind — Nearly wordless connection game

Party and Social Games

When gaming with groups scattered across locations:

• Codenames Online — Free, works in browser, excellent for 4-8 players
• Wavelength — Debating and guessing party game
• Just One — Cooperative word game
• Drawful (Jackbox) — Drawing and guessing chaos

Turn-Based Strategy (Async-Friendly)

For friends in vastly different time zones, asynchronous games work well. Take your turn when convenient; the game notifies your partner.

• Through the Ages (BGA) — Civilisation building
• Terraforming Mars (app) — Engine building
• Race for the Galaxy (BGA) — Quick card-based space building

Creating Meaningful Rituals

The games matter less than the ritual. Here's how to build lasting connection through gaming.

Pre-Game Rituals

Start each session with 5-10 minutes of catch-up conversation before opening the game. This prevents gaming from replacing connection time.

During-Game Connection

• Share thinking aloud: "I'm considering this because..."
• React genuinely to opponent's moves
• Take breaks for chat during longer games
• Celebrate good plays (theirs too)

Post-Game Reflection

End with a brief debrief:

• "What was your favourite moment?"
• "What would you try differently?"
• "Same game next week, or try something new?"

Couples who create shared meaning through rituals—even simple ones like weekly game nights—show greater relationship stability over time.

Overcoming Common Challenges

Time Zone Struggles

When partners live 8+ hours apart, finding overlap is hard.

Solutions:

• Weekend morning/evening slots often work
• Asynchronous games (one move per day) maintain connection without coordination
• Alternate who stays up late / wakes early
• Treat gaming as special event worth schedule sacrifice

Technical Difficulties

Nothing kills connection like buffering, crashes, or login failures.

Prevention:

• Test platforms before your session
• Have phone numbers ready for when Discord fails
• Keep a "backup game" option that's simple and reliable
• Restart routers before sessions

One Partner More Competitive

Mismatched competition preferences create tension.

Solutions:

• Play cooperative games together
• Adjust handicaps openly
• Focus on close games rather than winning streaks
• Separate "serious" games from "fun" games

Gaming Fatigue

Virtual gaming requires more energy than in-person play. Screen fatigue is real.

Prevention:

• Limit sessions to 2 hours maximum
• Turn off video occasionally (audio-only gaming works fine)
• Alternate gaming weeks with video-call conversation
• Include non-screen activities in rotation

For Families Across Miles

Long-distance grandparents, separated parents, or scattered siblings benefit equally from remote gaming.

Multi-Generational Gaming

When tech literacy varies:

• Use browser-based platforms (no downloads/accounts for guests)
• Choose simple games initially (Uno, Connect Four exist online)
• Do a tech rehearsal before the first session
• Be patient with repetitive questions

Gaming with Children

Kids thrive with:

• Short games (under 30 minutes)
• Visual games (clear component visibility)
• Turn reminders (BGA has audio notifications)
• Forgiving losses (nobody sulks alone at home)

Recommended: Uno, Ticket to Ride, Carcassonne, Azul

Building Long-Term Habits

One-off game nights fade. Regular rhythms sustain connection.

Weekly Structure That Works

Progression Systems

Maintain interest through structured progression:

• Game-of-the-month clubs: Try one new game monthly
• Campaign games: Pandemic Legacy, The Crew missions
• Skill tracking: Note your win percentages over time
• Achievement hunting: Many digital platforms have achievements

When Life Interrupts

Sessions will be cancelled. What matters is resumption.

• Acknowledge the gap when returning
• Don't guilt-trip about missed sessions
• Restart with easy favourites rather than new games
• Adjust frequency rather than abandoning the habit

Frequently Asked Questions

What's the best free platform for couples?

Board Game Arena's free tier offers enough games for regular play. Both players need accounts, but only Premium members can create premium game tables—which many popular games don't require.

Can we play physical games remotely?

Yes, with effort. One player owns the physical game and operates both sides. The remote player watches via video call and dictates their moves. Works for two-player games; gets complicated with more.

How do we handle different skill levels?

Most games allow handicaps. In point-based games, give the weaker player starting advantages. In BGA, you can also review ranked play suggestions together, learning as a team.

What if one partner doesn't like games?

Start with extremely light party games (Codenames) or collaborative experiences (Mysterium). Sometimes the "I don't like games" partner hasn't found the right game yet.

Is remote gaming as good as in-person?

No—and that's okay. It's good enough to maintain connection across distance, which is the goal. In-person gaming when you reunite feels even more special.

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Final Thoughts

Three years ago, board gaming saved my long-distance relationship. That's melodramatic, but not entirely untrue. We needed something to do together beyond exchanging updates.

Games gave us that. They gave us inside jokes about terrible die rolls, collaborative victories we still reference, and a weekly ritual that anchored our connection through uncertain times.

The distance doesn't disappear when the virtual board loads. But it shrinks enough.

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The Smoothie Wars Content Team creates educational gaming content. The team writes about strategic gaming, meaningful connection, and playing across distances.